Local Cows Victims of Alien Abduction?

Breaking News: Local police are on the scene at the Edith Masterson farm located at 18522 20A Road. Mrs. Masterson claims that 3 cows from her herd are missing. An anonymous source told this reporter that Edith thinks the cows are victims of an alien abduction. Merle further claimed that he overheard Officers Green and Bowen say that they smelled alcohol on Edith's breath and that she has no idea how many cows are in her herd.

This is not the first disturbance at the Edith Masterson farm. Last July local police were called to investigate "crop circles" on the farm. Edith claimed they were made by aliens in the middle of the night. She said she was woken by noises and lights as the aliens made their crop circles. The official police report stated that Edith Masterson had been drinking that night, and that local teenager Dewayne Johnson had driven his pickup into the field and was making donuts. No arrests were made.