Thursday, February 7, 2008

We've Moved!

Due to the overwhelming response 20A Today is moving. We are now located at:
Our new site is better able to handle the large number of visitors we've been receiving. As a reader of 20A Today you should notice faster page loading.

Our success is due to you, the 20A Road Community. Thank You!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

STILL MISSING Update

The 20A Road Community has not been much help finding things lately. But, there's no need to panic as the staff here at 20A Today is sure that everything and everybody will eventually turn up.

Merle's Wallet:
Merle reported it missing last November. He lost it while he was canoeing in the Tippecanoe River.

Edith Masterson's Cows: Last week Edith reported 3 cows missing. Edith now claims that at least 5 cows are gone. Local police believe that Edith never had an accurate count of the size of her herd, and believe she is mistaken.

Claude and Puffy: These two dogs have been missing for three weeks now. Claude is (was) one big poodle, and Puffy is (was) one big sheep dog.

Delmer Rudd: Delmer was last seen Friday heading south in his wheelchair on Sage Road near the intersection with 20A Road. This is the longest that Delmer has ever been missing. He might just make Florida this time. Go Delmer!

Contact 20A Today with information on any of the items on today's "Still Missing Update."

Sunday, February 3, 2008

New Harmony Lion Sanctuary Seeking Electrician


Do you know an electrician that likes a challenge, is comfortable around big animals, and would like to donate his time? If you do then Albert Nydig wants to hear from you. Mr. Nydig, director of the New Harmony Lion Sanctuary of 18523 20A Road told 20A Today that the sanctuary needs a skilled electrican. "We have a state of the art invisible fence containment system that keeps popping circuit breakers," Mr. Nydig said. He continued, "The problem can happen any time of day but occurs more frequently at night, especially when the dusk-to-dawn lights kick on." Mr. Nydig went on to say that the sanctuary cannot afford to offer any pay, but would give a few t-shirts, coffee mugs and other items from the New Harmony Lion Sanctuary Gift Shop.

Friday, February 1, 2008

MAROON ALERT For Delmer Rudd

What has become an annual event in the quad-township area is local octogenarian Delmer Rudd's Florida dash. Delmer is retired from the Tippecanoe Pallet Factory where he operated a fork lift until a tragic accident, in which he backed off the end of the loading dock, left him a paraplegic. After a brief recovery the wheelchair bound Delmer continued to work as a clerk at the factory until his retirement. That was 17 years ago Delmer's wife Edna told 20A Today. Ever since then Delmer has wanted to move to Florida. He hates the winter and just wants to be able to sit out in the sun and feed the seagulls all day long. Edna said that she insisted that they stay in this area to be close to their children. "Delmer's been pouting ever since. Each year when the time comes that he's had enough of winter he loads up his wheelchair with blankets and snacks and heads south," said Edna. "He never made it more than a mile or so until he got his electric wheelchair 6 years ago. Since then he's been gone up to three days and made it almost to Grass Creek." Edna asks that if you see Delmer on the road or in somebody's yard charging his battery to point him north and send him home. Or else contact 20A Today and we'll arrange for someone to pick Delmer up.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

$1.99 Gizzard Basket Special Ends Friday

Friday, February 1st, the monthly ritual of changing the oil in the fryers at the Tippecanoe General Store will take place. Harlin Hitchcock, owner of the store says he runs the specials the last week of the month to reward customers for their patronage. All fried foods- chicken, gizzards, livers, fish, shrimp, oysters and potato logs- are on specials. Harlin says the gizzard basket is his biggest seller. And he added once the new oil is in the fryers he goes back to regular prices.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Local Cows Victims of Alien Abduction?

Breaking News: Local police are on the scene at the Edith Masterson farm located at 18522 20A Road. Mrs. Masterson claims that 3 cows from her herd are missing. An anonymous source told this reporter that Edith thinks the cows are victims of an alien abduction. Merle further claimed that he overheard Officers Green and Bowen say that they smelled alcohol on Edith's breath and that she has no idea how many cows are in her herd.

This is not the first disturbance at the Edith Masterson farm. Last July local police were called to investigate "crop circles" on the farm. Edith claimed they were made by aliens in the middle of the night. She said she was woken by noises and lights as the aliens made their crop circles. The official police report stated that Edith Masterson had been drinking that night, and that local teenager Dewayne Johnson had driven his pickup into the field and was making donuts. No arrests were made.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Today's Chuckle: OOPS!

"WARNING, Lion Sanctuary Electric Fence, Must be plugged in at all times!"

I came across this "photo chuckle" as I was leaving my interview with Albert Nydig, director of the New Harmony Lion Sanctuary.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Interview Highlights: Albert Nydig

This reporter recently had the pleasure of interviewing Albert Nydig, director of the New Harmony Lion Sanctuary of 18523 20A Road. What follows are highlights of that interview:

20A Today: How did the lion sanctuary come to be?
Albert Nydig: We are fortunate to have a local recluse, Mr. Derfla Ybyn, as our benefactor. He is a generous man that just wanted to give back to a community that has been very good to him.

20A:
But why a lion sanctuary?
AN: It's the result of a rare opportunity of being in the right place at the right time. One day last December Mr. Ybyn was marching out to berate his two gardeners, Jose and Merle, when he overhead them talking about some lions in Mexico that were going to be destroyed. It turned out that Jose's family in Mexico had been hired to destroy the lions because the Mexico City Zoo did not want them anymore. Jose told Mr. Ybyn that the lions were still alive and he could have them cheap. Mr. Ybyn, animal lover that he is, felt that this was a rescue mission that he had to attempt so Jose's family was hired to bring the lions here.
...
20A: You obviously are very knowledgeable to take on a job as director of a lion sanctuary. Have you been trained in veterinary medicine?
AN: No, I don't have any such background. Mr. Ybyn decided that I would learn on the job so to speak.
...
20A: What do you feed the lions, lots of red meat?
AN: I can't say definitely, but I think it is a myth that lions need meat. I figured a lion is just a really big cat so we've been feeding them Purina Cat Chow. We were surprised how little of it they eat. I think the reason that they do not have much of an appetite is because, as you saw during the tour, they are rather dormant. They must enter some mild state of hibernation during the winter months. I expect them to have a healthy appetite come spring.
...
20A: I do not see any fences anywhere at the sanctuary. How do you keep them contained?
AN: This is another one of those situations where truth is stranger than fiction. Mr. Ybyn is the inventor of the Invisible Fence. As you probably know, Invisible Fence was designed to contain dogs. It is a buried cable that runs the perimeter of a piece of property. The dog wears a special collar that shocks him as he gets near the buried cable. Mr. Ybyn designed special collars for the lions and we buried the cable around the sanctuary. As you'll see when you visit the web site, Invisible Fence has more than a 99% success rate.
...
20A: You've rescheduled the grand opening?
AN: We thought it best to proceed cautiously to insure that visiting the sanctuary will be a safe and rewarding experience. Therefore, we moved the opening from February 1st to April 1st. And, hopefully the lions will be more active by then.
...

The full interview will appear at a later date.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

LOST and FOUND

LOST: Claude (left) and Puffy (right) were last seen close to Sage Road and 20A Road about a quarter mile east of the New Harmony Lion Sanctuary. The two are best friends and live on South Shore Drive at the south end of Lake Maxinkuckee.

FOUND: 47 Beer Cans, 5 beer bottles, 3 Soda Cans, a pair of girl's underwear (size BIG), a pair of soiled socks, and 2 dog collars.

Contact 20A Today if you have any information on today's LOST and FOUND.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

How Are We Doing?

The response has been overwhelming since we launched the electronic edition of 20A Today. We would like to thank everyone for their support and .... criticisms. Thus far it has been a tremendous success. However, we do have a few rough edges to work out. One complaint that we hear a lot is that, "I ain't got a computer." We have been directing our readers to the local libraries in the tri-city sister communities of Culver, Leiters Ford and Monterey for computer access. Another popular option is to flag down Orville of Orv's Odd Jobs. He's got a special going on where you can get a Dell XPSTM M1730 World of Warcraft® Edition computer normally priced at $4499 not including shipping and taxes. Orv's price ... $200 all taxes included and free shipping. You'll have to hurry as he only has a couple hundred left in the back of his pickup truck. At this price Orv doesn't offer any technical support and suggests that you not turn the computer in for any warranty repairs should the need arise.

We switched to this electronic format because it lets us be more timely with the news you want and need to hear. We just couldn't be this responsive with our old monthly newspaper. Thanks again, and if you get a chance drop us a line or leave a comment on this board.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

New Harmony Lion Sanctuary

New Harmony Lion Sanctuary
Grand Opening Scheduled For February 1st

The sanctuary located at 18523 20A Road is abuzz with activity. The lions arrived two days ago and are adjusting nicely to their new surroundings. Prior to the grand opening we will have an exclusive interview with the sanctuary's director, Albert Nydig. Stay tuned.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Local Gun Enthusiasts Show Off Talents


"I'd put our STOP sign shooters up against anyone!"

So boasts Edith Masterson of 18522 20A Road when contacted by this reporter. I learned from Edith that blasting the crap out of a stop sign is a rite of passage for local teenagers as well as for some of the half-wit older hunters in the area. She also claimed that the sport is gaining in popularity on 20A Road. To increase the difficulty the teenagers often blast the signs at night from the bed of a speeding pickup truck. As you can see their aim is true. Edith has toured much of the quad-township area and she claims that our youth is the best she's ever seen at shooting up a stop sign . Just one more reason for the 20A Road community to be proud!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

We've Entered the Digital Age!

We finally did it. We're moving to an all electronic edition of 20A Today. Our paper edition will be discontinued immediately. A new year ... a new beginning. We were hesitant at first to make the switch. We had, and still have, many doubts about the future of this "internet" thing. But, we now believe that it has a good chance of succeeding. Many of you, our loyal subscribers, may think this move to be rash. All that we ask is that you give the new technology a chance. Let me remind you that we've always been "cutting-edge" here at 20A Today and our track record is pretty good. For example, seven years ago we reported that the technology was dependable enough for you to buy a color TV when your old Black & White died. Four years ago we wrote that it was safe to get an automatic transmission in your next car. And just last year we told you that cordless phones were OK. We're still not convinced that mobile phones are here to stay, but we will keep you informed.

I want to assure all of our loyal readers that we will continue to strive for the high standards of reporting that you've come to expect and depend on from 20A Today.